Portland or Bust

Through a successful brainstorming session, Joel and I came up with a marvelous plan: let's place a pregnant lady and her mother-in-law in a 2-door hatchback and have them tow a utility trailer halfway across the country. What could go wrong?


The giant blue tarp and several hundred yards of rope should have been our first clue that this was a not a well put-together plan:

John and Marilyn (Joel's parents) and I
with the finished product

we stopped about every 75 miles or so to patch a new hole

After a final farewell to my precious Portillo's polish dogs, Marilyn and I headed west. Within one hundred miles, the tarp had developed it's first hole due to the high winds of travel. It was nothing a little duct tape couldn't fix. This was followed by a few more miles of driving. And a new hole. And a bit more duct tape. Repeat.


We became duct taping experts, and by the end of the first day, all potential holes in the tarp were taped safe and sound in their duct tape bed. After this rough start, our spirits were high from conquering the holes in the tarp. Even realizing the terrible gas mileage we were getting from towing didn't get us down for long.


Westward we went, until we happened upon Wyoming. Boy, is Wyoming barren! A pretty country to be sure, but Wyoming doesn't have much human civilization. This was unfortunate, because we were in the middle of nowhere (aka, Wyoming) when the tire on our trailer blew out. Here is a re-enactment of how we realized the tire was in shreds:


Karyn: "Hey Marilyn, why are you only driving 45 mph?"
Marilyn: "Well I have the gas pedal all the way down and it won't go any faster."
Karyn: "This simply won't do. Let us pull over, and I'll drive."
We pull over and see this:

note the lack of rubber around the tire

Sigh. We can't remember the last time we saw a town. Or a road sign for that matter.  Unpacking the car to get to the tools reveals that we don't have the right size ratchety rickety monkey wrench doo-da to unhook the spare tire trailer. The dread is sinking into our guts upon this realization when a Wyoming State Trooper pulled up behind us not even one minute later. He looks a bit like this:

He just happens to have gone to Cheyenne on his day off to testify, and he just happens to pull up right after we broke down. And he just happens to be kind, and also able to change a tire. Praise the Lord. After putting on the old-looking spare tire, he warns "now you'll want to buy a new tire at the Wal-Mart tire center in the next town, which is 50 miles from here. Be sure not to go over 45 mph on that spare tire."


Yes, sir. Over 45 mph we did not go.

We finally see a town, our exit, and the trusty Wal-Mart tire center.  We simultaneously hear a loud, repeating, thud, thud, thud. Still on the off-ramp to the exit, I pull over and see we have only one lug nut remaining in our spare trailer tire. The rest have stripped out and our tire is at a 30 degree angle. Not good for driving. Marilyn calls the direct Wyoming State Trooper hotline which the nice man had given us earlier, "just in case something else goes wrong", and they dispatch yet another nice state trooper to our aide. It's a good thing he is young and healthy because in the mile and a half to the Wal-Mart parking lot, we have to stop three times so Mr. Trooper can again jack up the trailer and re-tighten the lug nuts. An hour after the second state trooper arrived to our aid, we have never been so pleased to arrive at a Wal-Mart.


When we find the tire center to be closed for the night, we must resort to wheeling our luggage down the road to a hotel and collapse into bed. After finding the correct lug bolts for our ancient trailer wheel at the 7th specialty store we try in the morning, we get on the road after lunch. It's been real, Wyoming. It's been real.


Compared to Wyoming, the rest of our trip was uneventful. Unless you count the unexpected blizzard that slammed us in northern California. Of course.

We arrived safely in Portland! It only took me half a dozen attempts to back the trailer into the storage unit. 

we went to P.F. Changs that night to celebrate
being free from the trailer!

We are thankful for:
-safe travels
-Marilyn being willing and able to accompany me on our adventures
-a wonderful couple in Portland who hosted us upon our Portland arrival for a week, even though we had never met
-Joel being able to soon join me again after graduating and becoming a male nurse